Real Talk

To the lil woman, I’m sorry

I recently was asked about my view on abortion after I posted a facebook status about Women’s Reproductive Rights. This woman asked me what about the lil women that are murdered every day, what about their rights? This was what I wrote her. I’ll copy the facebook message.

In regards to the little bitty women:

Disclaimer: I am not attacking you. I just thought a short comment back would not be good in regards to the lil women. Furthermore this is long and I realize this was more cathartic for me to air my frustrations than to share them with you. So I fully respect your decision to not read this. I thank you for the opportunity to write out my thoughts.

I am pro choice as you probably can tell. I am pro choice for a lot of reasons but I did not start out that way. I was pro life for a very large portion of my life and even worked at a crisis pregnancy clinic that was pro life.

In every other medical decision we allow patients to accept or decline treatment, accept or decline chemotherapy, a surgery, etc. We say that the patient has a right to their own body and health, even if they decline treatment or dnr, we cannot change that. So why is abortion any different? It is a medical procedure.

All over the world there are countries that outlaw abortions. What happens though is it does not deter women. Women either have dangerous in home procedures or go to a neighboring country that has abortions. If we outlaw abortions, people will still have them, just a lot less safely. And if that is the case, I would rather the woman to be safe about her choices.

You never know what it is like until you get there. I say that because a lot of my friends are rape survivors. So when (often males in congress) say that a life is a life (and I can agree) and say the rape survivor should keep the baby, I cringe. They don’t know the road a rape survivor walks to healing. Some get pregnant, some get AIDS or another STD, some get PTSD, some get disowned, some have to fight publicly in court, all struggle is my point. So I would rather leave the decision to the women who are walking that road.

Some, I believe an abortion is the only chance that they have to make it. Some women who get pregnant are at risk for losing their minimum wage job during months 7-9. If they lose that job, who is going to pay the bills? Even though employers cannot discriminate like that, they do. So, if more pro lifers would step in and really honestly help these women, I would be so pleased. She could give it up for adoption, they could help pays bills in the interim, and one could help her get back to work or find a new job. But sadly, when I worked at that pro life clinic, this never happened. Sadly, I saw teenage moms and pregnant teenagers scoffed and frowned upon inside churches. This truly upset me. We need to be pro baby and pro mama and see that she makes it and the lil one inside her too.

If all the people who voted to turn down roe versus wade or who are pro life, put together their efforts, so much could be different and I am not meaning overturn the decision. You know it is easy to check a box in a voting booth. It is easy to carry a sign. It is not easy to raise a child. It is not easy to confront societal stigma about teenage pregnancy. It is not easy, if you want your child to be abstinent, to hand them a condom, because you know they are doing it anyway. These things are hard. Our society in my opinion has some broken views on sexuality and sex (I’m pro lgbtq community btw). I looked up Mississippi and they were #5 in the nation for teen pregnancies. I would say they have a bigger problem than abortion. I would also venture to say they probably have a large drop-out rate. I also know that they have the highest rate of AIDS prevalence in the South. My point is we have a problem that starts before conception in Mississippi. So if every pro lifer did not just check a box, but handed out free condoms, supported comprehensive sex education instead of just abstinence, gave out free birth control, supported local orphanages to provide good care, and took in pregnant moms, I would say we would have a better shot at less abortions, and more lives, including the mothers being saved. Condoms potentially mean no baby, and no baby means no abortion potential. No baby means no dropout and one more girl may see herself in college. I could go on an on here. So I wish more pro lifers would do more than check a box. I wish they would see the whole issue here and get up and do something in the community.

For those lil bitty women: I am glad they have a voice of pro lifers behind them. I don’t like the procedures done to terminate a pregnancy. I hope that I never am faced with the decision whether to terminate or not. I have talked to my friends before about their options including abortion and it is tough. I listen. I don’t want to dis-empower my friends so I listen. I wish more could be saved, but not through over turning roe vs. wade or initiative 26. You want to impact the lil bitty women, talk to women who are with us now. Listen to their concerns. So many people are willing to check a box at a voting booth, but are too chicken to have the tough talk with friends or family. I believe my impact is there, in my community, having tough discussions. Rules and laws in our country will never dictate or regulate morality. Upright hearts do. So if people want to save the lil bitty women, the discussion starts in the community, not the voting booth. Just because I am pro choice, does not mean I do not care about the lil ones who have no voice.

With all respect to you and your views.

Innocent

What is innocence? Should it be kept or let go?